Tag Archives: Peer Support

Why I offer peer support – and why I hate doing it

Actually I don’t HATE doing it. But it has its positives and negatives. A bit of a rant! 

What is peer support. Basically sharing info and supporting those in the same situation, group interest as yourself, often in a ’safe’ environment.

The BDSM community, is by the by runs on Peer Support, at times better than others. Hence the ‘community’ runs munches, workshops, such as ‘peer rope’ workshops. These are designed to share information, to safeguard against predators. Everyone at some point is ’new’ to something. A community, a classroom, a job.

I have always been involved in peer support for several of my passions, other than BDSM, plants, CKD, kite flying.
Knowledge is power but knowledge  should be shared.

The downside of peer support is that it can be exhausting if it fails to meet its purpose.  If people become reliant on you, or your group. As though people are unable to ‘FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES’  I call and other social media, including the bdsm community, the Lazy Search Engine. How often have you seen a post of ‘How Do I?

HOW TO USE A SEARCH ENGINE should be the default intro for any peer support group online!

Offering peer support or running a group can be exhausting if the you, or only a few people are putting in the effort. It leaves you feeling unappreciated (always thank a host, give them feedback). If the fun stops.  Walk away – let someone else do it. In the bigger picture, people will ALWAYS have the same questions, and the ANSWERS WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME.

People have been getting into kink, and likewise developing CKD at any time and will continue to do so. DECADES of information is available on the internet.  Just for once, it would be nice to see more posts along the line of.

‘I’ve looked  up and researched X Y & Z and would like to know more! 

Do you run a peer support group, have you ever had to step back or pass over responsibilities?

Feature image women in a peer support group Creative Commons

Enhance the UK – Undressing Disability – Edited July 2020

Still exploring this site, the purpose of it is unclear, is it financial (given that it has a payments page). Or is that for future merchandise? Events? In a nutshell its a mix of an Awareness Site and Professional and Public Peer Networking. Why have 2 websites, or not link 2 together is an unknown (read down). One is the ‘Forums’ one is the Charities/Organisations ‘front of house’


When you first visit the site its unclear on what its about. There’s no, About Us page, and no info, and it requires a registration to even look round the site.
I think this is just  poor web design by https://www.sixcircles.co.uk/pricing/ at their prices I think its very poor indeed.
Geek hat off, the site once you get in. looks promising, it seems the idea is to connect users to influence, and share info on sex and disability at a professional level (unlike a dating site)

Its very very strange it seems they have 2 websites, one an org UK and one is the above:
Quite why one site for the same organisation needs 2 websites seems unclear. The Link above doesn’t require Login via email.

It has 2 slogans, “Changing Society’s views on Disability” and “Undressing Disability”  as well as Enhance the UK as its main tags. Confused? So am I.
If its one thing I can’t stand its slogans that don’t have a direct meaning. I mean I love to enhance my food with herbs, and undressing is always fun, but? And there’s little doubt that the UK could do with some enhancements!

Their welcome message reads thus:

Screen Shot 2020 07 26 at 09 54 17
If the ‘Welcome page’ was public, perhaps ‘what the site was about would perhaps be clearer. Like most forum based sites you have the chance to upload a photo and edit a profile. Although I seem to be having trouble with that with a ‘password not recognised’, perhaps the adblock again!

How it will differ from the excellent resources already provide by SHADA, Disability Horizons, and Outsiders excellent advice for individuals and professionals remains to be seen. I think it may compliment them. And has the potential to be a non social media resource equivalent to Shift.MS and KidneyPatientGuide   Outsiders also provide a Free Ebook guide/website written by disabled people. 

If your uncertain of the site I’d suggest signing up first with a temp email from a site such as guerlliamail or SpamGourmet
Once you are signed up you will get this welcome message and description. Which could an open welcome page on the website BEFORE you sign up.
Once signed up you enter the Undressing Disability Hub,

Hello, and welcome to the Undressing Disability Hub, a place for information, education, resources and networking within
the world of disability and sexuality.   We are so often encouraged to make connections and have conversations at work and within our professions, but at Enhance the UK, we believe there’s still so much that can be done to further communication and learning in this area of love, sex, relationships and impairments – and there’s nothing better than sharing ideas, creating projects together and learning from each other. Think of it as LinkedIn’s fun, sexy sibling that’s ready to make a stand and push for progress.

(Really I hope its nothing LIKE linkedIn, the most some of the most hacked and farmed professional data online!)


The purpose of this hub is to focus on topics
linked to physical and/or sensory impairments and sexual expression
rather than matters linked to capacity to consent.


There’s a few things that we’d like you to know before you being exploring:

To be able to contribute and engage with the site you will need to sign up as a
member.  Membership is free and all members will receive a free copy of
our Undressing Disability ebook – full of relationship stories written by our disabled friends and colleagues.

This hub is for like minded people in this field to connect, collaborate and share their work and experiences.
Please, no personal ads or inappropriate content. Positivity
goes a long way! Even though we are fully aware that frustration and
difficulty absolutely exists in this arena, please post positively and
in a way that encourages contact, excitement and proactivity from us

And lastly, just as the topic is, this hub will be constantly updating and
evolving, so please do check back regularly. We are excited about the
heights that this hub could go to, if we all stay present.”

Once your into the site it has some pretty standard menu items :
Screen Shot 2020 07 26 at 10 47 21
As a new site its pretty blank, resources are pretty standard ‘sex ed’ 
It does however have an ‘Accessibility Widget’
which is pretty nifty
Screen Shot 2020 07 26 at 10 49 54

Looking further into the site there are forums. 
Currently with the following subthread.

  • Family members and carers
  • Interviews about autism, intimacy, sexuality and paying for sexual services
  • Welcomes and Introductions 
  • General discussions
  • Parenting hacks

    Like Outsiders it has resources for professionals and individuals (as yet blank) in the forms  of  guides, videos, podcasts and leaflets.

    So, whats the site for. Professionals, keen influencers? Peer support? That’s still not entirely sure, but its FREE apart from an email address before you look round the site, so give it a go. Again, I think the ‘signup to view’ is something they need to loose!

    You receive a ‘Free Ebook’ on signup, mostly a collection of members stories. Also available from Amazon (currently with zero reviews)
    Undressing Disability Enhance the UK eBook: 

    The Stories cover various ‘members’ supporters disabilities, hearing loss, visual disability, ABS, Bone Disease, Stroke, Vehicle accident etc. You get the picture. Its worth a read. If a non for a non disabled person its educational, for a disabled person you’ll probably emphasise or perhaps think ‘I didn’t know about that condition’ The Image Gallery is good, photoshoot style shots of the contributors in sexy, but tasteful posses and attire. Some contributors have been in the media in some form or another.

    Table of contents below from Enhance the UK Ebook

    Screen Shot 2020 07 28 at 08 43 34 

    Comments/feedback always welcome etc etc