Category Archives: Politics

Why this video, & my disability links in with BDSM

This is a DDN (nope not Daddy Dom Never) but Double Down News Video on UK education 

Observing my education. I was privileged.  My parents where working middle class in reality, working in the public sector they saved and purchased a house, saved and and sent their kids to independent schools (Private Schools) rather than state. With a chronic condition, I was in and out of hospital, moved from infant (prep school) to one private school for most of my education, which focused on achievement and discipline and competition (very conservative).

Go to college, learn to drive,  get a job, work for the big business or go into high paid jobs.Other people will do stuff for you if you give them money. Some choose to go into what are still lower paid professions. OR do not have those privileges and thus are in circumstance due to inequality. And have kids. In other words, be a good drone for society, and you’ll be rewarded. And lied to, deceived, and given false truths and news.

In and out of medical facilities the school did very little to support me, and indeed didn’t notice, or didn’t contact my parents when I was absent for a week or so, nor did they send any support.  
I moved onto another school, mostly focused on a much more art and action b
based education (look up Steiner Schools). While in hospital I was in an out of hospital school as well, something that our Conservative government tried to scrap!
From then I moved onto state school and university to complete my studies.  I had the privileged, mostly capitalist view of the world, although I was never that happy with the world.
 Inequality  was never in my eye until I was a little older but I could see that Equality, was a buzz word that was unachievable to humanity in its current form. And still is.

So WHY is this video relevant to BDSM and education.  Most education is loosely still based on that. As a species, on the whole we teach our young in that same capitalist method, that THINGS AND MONEY, are the key to success, that you have to be better than others, even if equality and diversity are thrown around as buswords.

DIFFERENCES, including BDSM are still seen as ‘weird’ or not normal. And while the freedom of sexual expression is fairly open in the UK, there have been moves to remove some of that. To add more control of our lives to the state. Without my mixed education, I would NOT have had the opportunity to advance, to change, to learn about myself. In other countries, the state still abhors or punishes those that do not meet the conformity, often under the guise of false news or religion.

I live in an area of poverty, thats a gov fact, in fact people have houses, drive cars. But it a background of crime, links to sex trafficking, drugs (in some areas) and the worst health poverty in the area. The local council, mostly conservative is good at greenwashing itself, and encouraging people to be ‘part of the community’ while there’s nothing wrong with that, those ‘getting involved, are a small minority.

We cannot have education that continues teaching the 9 to 5 wealth and breeding program if we want to survive as a species. Because its the only opportunity taught to children, it needs major educational change to break the pattern.

So, watch and share double down news, talk to your friends about it. ARGUE with your friends about it:) Be your own government! 

The Police & Crime Bill – Further Criminalisation

This is possibly one of the most unusual posts I’ll write.

If you live in  the UK, and you support our remaining freedoms, sexual and otherwise, this is a post for you.

If you’ve ever debated or considered sex work, or been involved in the adult industry, this post is for you.
If you’ve ever protested or supported those fighting for their rights, this is for you.

The TLC Trust offers Responsible Sexual Services for Disabled People. Providers are Verified – Services are Professional  – Safety is key, for both providers and clients.

Support the TLC Trust – Police and Crime Bill – Further Criminalisation
Organisations including the TLC trust are threatened by this

TLC is under attack as is the right to pay for sexual services. Many of you have heard of the Nordic model. For those who haven’t, it’s where it is made illegal to pay for sex. Criminalising the client not the worker but just as unhelpful for the worker. They have slipped this into the new Police and Crime Bill which is currently being protested against all over the country.
“If you would like to help then please add your name to the open letter or send a copy of it to your own MP.
TLC is creating a lobbying pamphlet which some of you have contributed to and I’ll share it soon as it’s finished.

50 shades of reality – Chris and Stacy?

If Christian Grey wasn’t posh and wealthy?

A strange thought came to mind a few days ago. On how BDSM has been portrayed in film and everyday life.

Incidentally I hold that for an author who isn’t in to kink, she must have seen or watched at least ’The Secretary or some other erotic books in her youth), but had been taken in by ’Twighlight’ Fantasy romance and fan fiction. And attending an all girls Grammar School, could have some influence 😉

Incidentally I think the similarities between ’The Secretary’ and 50 Shades are too uncanny. 

Take 50 shades.  Christian Grey the lead in the ‘current mommy porn televised books’ and Anastasia.

Now a simplified name of Christian in Chris and and a common variation on Anastasia is Stacy.

Would the books have read the same if Chris and Stacy got together? Or the films?

Hints at BDSM pop up in common TV series, everything from Midsomer Murders to the hilarious ‘Stella’  to teen comedy Misfits!

The Reality of a a BDSM Chris and Stacy story would probably involve a council flat or semi with a kinky garage or loft conversion dungeon! And maybe occasional membership of a swingers club (again not necessary BDSM) or a visits to a bespoke hotel, plus a decent trade with LoveHoney or Ann Summers!

The majority of the population may not experience BDSM, but may at some point in life ‘experiment’ However its such a broad area that people go from regular club attendance, to creating ‘home dungeons’ or focusing on a few particular fetishes.

I know very few people that are able to live a 24/7 commitment. Those that do have ‘good health, and some form of steady income.

The majority have regular jobs and maybe reasonable health with at least one partner. Although this may be a false description as plenty of people with health conditions and disabilities find BDSM a fantastic outlet or part of life.

Theres no doubt that money helps to ‘buy stuff and do things’.

With 5 books of the 50 shades series (and 3 films ) so far I’ve only read one, and possibly seen a couple of films! 

BDSM in the media.

According to Maria Claire

The following are the Top BDSM Movies of Merit.

While I don’t agree with all, if your into the BDSM mainstream movie genre they are worth a look. I certainly have a soft spot for Billy Piper in Secret Diary of a Call Girl, and 9 1/2 weeks and Basic Instinct are classics with merit!
Bonding, too was a very enjoyable comical but realistic series.

Personally I think B Movie BDSM films should be watched by all beginners, such as ‘The Pet’, under supervisions.
For all the tacky acting. This is a dark film of where ‘play’ can lead to abuse, and in the films end theme human trafficking, which sadly is still very very real in 2020!

“A young woman in dire financial straights accepts an offer to be a wealthy aristocrat’s human “pet” for six months. Then ruthless modern “pet-nappers” kidnap the woman to sell her on the GSM (Global Slave Market). ”

Themes of The Pet include

Its not to be confused with the later 2016 film ‘Pet’ (but sometimes also miscalled The Pet, just to confuse things which is much more of a physiological thriller exploring fanatical fetishism and abuse.

Keep Educated, Keep Safe.

Cover pick from PickPik licence free images
Its worth adding the Music Features a good deal in ‘making, rather than breaking’ the film.

I really don’t want to write about politics but

The UK is in a mess. And this is NOT a sexy situation. Right now I am although happy with the state of the world! 

The fact that people fell for the lying greedy party is covered very well by, Another Angry Voice an independent blogger who fact checks etc. If your not in the UK, just read up on our 3 main parties, well actually 2 main and 2 lesser, plus many many individuals. If your not in the UK you’ve probably still heard of Britains Exit from the European Union, which was like another dodgy car salesman vote.  It looked shiny, people fell for it, then realised after after you’d got it home, taken it shopping and maybe to visit the in laws, you discovered you’d been lied to, the gearbox was fucked and the petrol tank contained sawdust!  It was also a very very tactical distraction from the inflicted poverty and global issues of the time.   A time that could have actually be spent dealing with crisis issues, rather than focusing only on very short term commerce and gain for the minority.
A few small changes to laws could have avoided it, but those in power chose to rape a nation!

Rather than a campaign built on facts people fell for the emotive, the warfare tactic of discrediting the enemy, propaganda, spreading rumours, lies to undermine the opposition.

How does this look for the the BDSM world.  The conservative gov previously tried to tighten self expression by banning the filming of several acts in porn, including women squirting, spanking, face sitting and much of consensual self expression in BDSM, that is viewed, and in most cases produced as porn safely and consensually under the legal standards of whatever country it comes from.

“Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 to include pornography available over video on demand and streaming platforms, effectively aligning internet pornography laws with the Video Recordings Act 1984. This brought a renewed controversy over the banning of depiction of certain sex acts including depictions “physical or verbal abuse”, “role-play as non-adults”, urolagnia, and female ejaculation, among others.[25]”

The next 5 years for the BDSM, and the world of sexual expression may look bleak,  and a step backward for the LGBTQ and kink communities, as division, even among families leads to separation. Politically this ‘divide and conquer’ a country is something most people should have seen, but like lambs to the slaughter they preferred to believe the propaganda, rather than follow rules of informed decision, and consented to nonconsensual political stupid for the until the next election. So expect more division, a hatred, in some areas for self expression and a rise of the more extreme protests against equality, freedom of expression as is occurring in the USA, Europe, and much of the rest of the world. The main man behind the current party in power, the organiser and aide was well know for his divide and conquer tactics. Not a politician, but an operator, a lover of discord and disruption. 
We’re in a political climate where those in power would love EVERYONE to love and vote for them forever more. Apart perhaps from women, the disabled, idiots, people that don’t look right, and Sharon’s mum’ s sister cos of what she said last year..  YES, THAT is how fucking ridiculous politics IS at the moment, and how far back it may go! 
A shoutout for Extinction Rebellion..  

For those that care about freedom, about the climate, and the future. and kink. XR even have a small group on Fetlife, so show your support where you can.

I’m making this site Pay as You Feel,  Also known as Pay As You Want, or Pay What You like, to give a little, or nothing depending on how you feel.


The Pay As You Feel principle (also known as Pay What You Want and Pay What You Like) is a heterodox pricing strategy that puts the customer at complete discretion over the price they are willing to pay for goods or services.

The most commonly used names for this pricing strategy are completely self-explanatory because the idea that the the customer is at complete freedom to determine the price for themselves is actually quite a simple one.

Even though the idea itself is simple enough, there are quite a lot of interesting economic factors to consider when it comes to breaking the orthodox mindset that things have a set price and replacing it with a pricing system that allows the price to exist as a free choice between £0 and any value the customer chooses.


I’ll try and make my next post a bit more cheerful, budget BDSM for Christmas perhaps:)  Although in the ether is a post on social media and better blowjobs! Tres Educational.  Or one on male grooming in the lower regions? Would you like that?

Stay sexy dear readers, hell knows I”m finding it difficult right now!  Seasons Greetings, Salutations and keep it real! If you’ll excuse the pun, we really need to come together as a species!

Bill & red!

CKD & The Black Dog – and nilla support & politics

There’s nothing kinky about this post, and as we’ve just passed Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK (or was it month) 

Geek fact. Both Winston Churchill, and   Samuel Johnson)  supposedly used the term the Black Dog to talk about depression in their depression. Possibly a myth about Churchill and some theories suggest he referred to annoying children visiting as ‘another visit from the black dog’

“”The term ‘black dog’ was first used to describe feelings
of melancholy by Dr Samuel Johnson”

Depression affects everyone at some point in their life, sometimes recurring and is common in those with kidney problems. It certainly hits on libido and relationships.

This months edition of Kidney Matters, the charity publication from Kidney Care UK has an excellent article on the subject of Walking The Black Dog on P30, and both the National Kidney Federation and Kidney Care UK have information on depression and support.  These charities and their site contents and support apply to UK residents only. All services are provided by the charity from fundraising and support.

I’ve made the step this month to get some more counselling, by phone from KCUK And also reached out to my own care team for help, as they may be able to help financially.  So, if your suffering from either finance problems, or depression,  overcome any shame and reach out for help, be it with financial costs for travel or white goods.

There’s no doubt the the Coalition Gov and then tory Rule, is going to have a knock on effect for years to come, even if the gov changes in the UK on Dec 12th..  I WILL be voting Labour, and if you want the truth on claims from the opposition look at a site such as FULL FACT.