Why I offer peer support – and why I hate doing it

Actually I don’t HATE doing it. But it has its positives and negatives. A bit of a rant! 

What is peer support. Basically sharing info and supporting those in the same situation, group interest as yourself, often in a ’safe’ environment.

The BDSM community, is by the by runs on Peer Support, at times better than others. Hence the ‘community’ runs munches, workshops, such as ‘peer rope’ workshops. These are designed to share information, to safeguard against predators. Everyone at some point is ’new’ to something. A community, a classroom, a job.

I have always been involved in peer support for several of my passions, other than BDSM, plants, CKD, kite flying.
Knowledge is power but knowledge  should be shared.

The downside of peer support is that it can be exhausting if it fails to meet its purpose.  If people become reliant on you, or your group. As though people are unable to ‘FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES’  I call and other social media, including the bdsm community, the Lazy Search Engine. How often have you seen a post of ‘How Do I?

HOW TO USE A SEARCH ENGINE should be the default intro for any peer support group online!

Offering peer support or running a group can be exhausting if the you, or only a few people are putting in the effort. It leaves you feeling unappreciated (always thank a host, give them feedback). If the fun stops.  Walk away – let someone else do it. In the bigger picture, people will ALWAYS have the same questions, and the ANSWERS WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME.

People have been getting into kink, and likewise developing CKD at any time and will continue to do so. DECADES of information is available on the internet.  Just for once, it would be nice to see more posts along the line of.

‘I’ve looked  up and researched X Y & Z and would like to know more! 

Do you run a peer support group, have you ever had to step back or pass over responsibilities?

Feature image women in a peer support group Creative Commons



One thought on “Why I offer peer support – and why I hate doing it”

  1. A really good, interesting and informative post. I definitely understand the fatigue and have experienced it several times as a BDSM blogger, even in my mere fifteen years in the community. When it happens, I just remind myself that I have plenty of other content already, that my blog won’t disappear if I don’t so anything for a day or two, and then go do something else. Last night, one of my favourite ASMRtists (who has been creating content routinely for 4 years) said that she was taking a break. People are people, and I think as you have pointed out, it’s important to remember that we’re not mere walking, talking search engines, we’re real human beings with real human emotions, we feel fatigued, too.

    Really enjoyed this post. I’ve got a packed schedule for the next week or two but I’ll definitely give a repost at some point 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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