Communication It needs to be done, and after Christmas is a great time. We had family round on Xmas and Boxing day. I left bits social media over Christmas. Best thing I’d done, to avoid the in your face overload of ‘words just said’ Nobody noticed, nobody called! I was, on Christmas Eve in a very very dark place mentally, as I lay next to red
I’d said something sharp to red previously when she forgot to take medications then took 2 doses, which you don’t do. I do keep an eye on her but medication is NOT a written rule. I didn’t apologise and she then later, said she was sorry and understood my concern as well.
“Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around
Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around
We talk about it all night long
We define our moral ground
But when I crawl into your arms
Everything, it comes tumbling down”
I always think the lyrics should read ‘doves’ and not dogs, as while dogs is war, aggression, I always think of a somewhat Arthurian description of breasts as doves, lovers making out with ‘the doves’ released. I don’t know why, call me a sadistic romantic.!
To me this speaks of passionate lovers, planning to meet, with set rules which fall apart when they meet. It maybe the totally wrong interpretation of the song, but to me thats it. The original vid is choral, Christmasy .
Incidentally I’m a big fan of Nick Cave, and his later music reflects the fairly recent tragic death of his son.
This morning we had a TALK.. I felt rejected, and said so, yes even Dom’s get that (especially with a Chronic Med Condition) and we’re not in any way a 24/7 relationship, BDSM wise. Some of the very best sessions we’ve had have been in the morning, we’ve both showered, but L prefers a ‘Get Up and Go’ and tackle the day. I think previously I’d kidnapped her before a shower and it was pretty hot. My animalistic Alpha that lives somewhere in me LOVES scent, and isn’t too bothered with before a shower morning smells! Quite frankly, I can be a BEAST OF PASSION, and I growl, scratch and bite!
What I think I will insist on is that we BOTH write stuff down, that was pushed away this morning as not needed. One thing I’ve noticed in red is there’s rarely a please or thank you. I’m used to it, but to others I think she can come across as abrupt or aggressive. Call me old-fashioned, and gentlemanly may traditional (but NEVER Conservative), but there’s nothing wrong with manners and values.
She may be substantially than me but she still submits to ME and me alone when I require her to.
We also went over our physical limits, in terms of time/energy, and ability due to med conditions. It might be something to explored in more detail.
So it seems earlier evenings, IF anything is planned, perhaps a ‘bat signal’ or something on the door so that its clear without words that its an evening in the words of the great Terry Pratchett’s Casanunda “I wants your body” (OK the reply is “Im still using it” but hey it works for me!)
So out with the hooks, drill to maybe make things more accessible and I’m sure I’ll be bouncing ideas off 10Shades&Me
I’ll be borrowing another idea and going over toys/cuffs etc. Most I think are staying, but the ones I/we like to use the most need to stay close by. I’m hoping 2020 will be more satisfactory for both of us in the department of intimacy. There’s some things I’m hoping to put more energy into, some things, well its been a fun couple of years, but its someone else turn.
Hope your Christmas was more peaceful and joyous than mine, to be fair I actually enjoyed watching an animated film with reds daughter, silliness at kids level felt about right (OK she’s an adult and recently broke up with her partner but hey its Christmas)