Welcome to my journal

Please enjoy the journal, More about me can be found here:

Inspired by my fellow blogger Tenshadesandme, this is a new format, new in the ‘not another wordpress site’ style.
I first started an ‘Adult’ Journal , on July 6th, 2006 on the defunct platform of LiveJournal. Although my interest, nay, passion now for BDSM stems from the late 80’s.
This journal contains material of a graphic and explicit nature
For the purpose of UK readers this site is suitable for those over the age of 18.
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Why this video, & my disability links in with BDSM

This is a DDN (nope not Daddy Dom Never) but Double Down News Video on UK education 

Observing my education. I was privileged.  My parents where working middle class in reality, working in the public sector they saved and purchased a house, saved and and sent their kids to independent schools (Private Schools) rather than state. With a chronic condition, I was in and out of hospital, moved from infant (prep school) to one private school for most of my education, which focused on achievement and discipline and competition (very conservative).

Go to college, learn to drive,  get a job, work for the big business or go into high paid jobs.Other people will do stuff for you if you give them money. Some choose to go into what are still lower paid professions. OR do not have those privileges and thus are in circumstance due to inequality. And have kids. In other words, be a good drone for society, and you’ll be rewarded. And lied to, deceived, and given false truths and news.

In and out of medical facilities the school did very little to support me, and indeed didn’t notice, or didn’t contact my parents when I was absent for a week or so, nor did they send any support.  
I moved onto another school, mostly focused on a much more art and action b
based education (look up Steiner Schools). While in hospital I was in an out of hospital school as well, something that our Conservative government tried to scrap!
From then I moved onto state school and university to complete my studies.  I had the privileged, mostly capitalist view of the world, although I was never that happy with the world.
 Inequality  was never in my eye until I was a little older but I could see that Equality, was a buzz word that was unachievable to humanity in its current form. And still is.

So WHY is this video relevant to BDSM and education.  Most education is loosely still based on that. As a species, on the whole we teach our young in that same capitalist method, that THINGS AND MONEY, are the key to success, that you have to be better than others, even if equality and diversity are thrown around as buswords.

DIFFERENCES, including BDSM are still seen as ‘weird’ or not normal. And while the freedom of sexual expression is fairly open in the UK, there have been moves to remove some of that. To add more control of our lives to the state. Without my mixed education, I would NOT have had the opportunity to advance, to change, to learn about myself. In other countries, the state still abhors or punishes those that do not meet the conformity, often under the guise of false news or religion.

I live in an area of poverty, thats a gov fact, in fact people have houses, drive cars. But it a background of crime, links to sex trafficking, drugs (in some areas) and the worst health poverty in the area. The local council, mostly conservative is good at greenwashing itself, and encouraging people to be ‘part of the community’ while there’s nothing wrong with that, those ‘getting involved, are a small minority.

We cannot have education that continues teaching the 9 to 5 wealth and breeding program if we want to survive as a species. Because its the only opportunity taught to children, it needs major educational change to break the pattern.

So, watch and share double down news, talk to your friends about it. ARGUE with your friends about it:) Be your own government! 

Why I don’t take part in social media questions!

You’ve all seen the posts. The latest I saw was ‘Name this DJ?’  Often you’ll see What is your? Name This? Have You ever.

Lets look closer at these kind of profiles. The name, may or may not be genuine. My latest was 107 Rewind Radio, with a bubble caption ‘Your allowed to meet your 18 year old self, your allowed to say 3 words, what would you say?’ 107 is a genuine radio station, one of my friends liked, saw, shared etc.

Why do I need to answer this? I don’t, in fact I generally ‘Hide All’ on facebook, and on other sites, including BDSM sites, I don’t feel obliged to ‘Love’.  I’m not there to add, give 2 seconds of appreciation or WASTE MY TIME on something that will be gone ‘downstream’ in a day. 

Its important to remember Just Waste Time, and relax sometimes.  But the rest of the time, cherish the seconds! 

My relationship with KinkyWithATwist

KWT summa it up brilliantly:)  We’ve known’ each other for many years, maybe a decade, but only met in the flesh twice:)

So enjoy the following beautiful, long read, entry below

https://kinkywithatwist.com/2021/05/30/30-days-of-submission-day-16-is-my-submission-different-in-various-relationships/

On this hot sunny day.
Enjoy! 

The Police & Crime Bill – Further Criminalisation

This is possibly one of the most unusual posts I’ll write.

If you live in  the UK, and you support our remaining freedoms, sexual and otherwise, this is a post for you.

If you’ve ever debated or considered sex work, or been involved in the adult industry, this post is for you.
If you’ve ever protested or supported those fighting for their rights, this is for you.

The TLC Trust offers Responsible Sexual Services for Disabled People. Providers are Verified – Services are Professional  – Safety is key, for both providers and clients.

Support the TLC Trust – Police and Crime Bill – Further Criminalisation
Organisations including the TLC trust are threatened by this

https://tlc-trust.org.uk/

TLC is under attack as is the right to pay for sexual services. Many of you have heard of the Nordic model. For those who haven’t, it’s where it is made illegal to pay for sex. Criminalising the client not the worker but just as unhelpful for the worker. They have slipped this into the new Police and Crime Bill which is currently being protested against all over the country.
“If you would like to help then please add your name to the open letter or send a copy of it to your own MP.
TLC is creating a lobbying pamphlet which some of you have contributed to and I’ll share it soon as it’s finished.”

Why I offer peer support – and why I hate doing it

Actually I don’t HATE doing it. But it has its positives and negatives. A bit of a rant! 

What is peer support. Basically sharing info and supporting those in the same situation, group interest as yourself, often in a ’safe’ environment.

The BDSM community, is by the by runs on Peer Support, at times better than others. Hence the ‘community’ runs munches, workshops, such as ‘peer rope’ workshops. These are designed to share information, to safeguard against predators. Everyone at some point is ’new’ to something. A community, a classroom, a job.

I have always been involved in peer support for several of my passions, other than BDSM, plants, CKD, kite flying.
Knowledge is power but knowledge  should be shared.

The downside of peer support is that it can be exhausting if it fails to meet its purpose.  If people become reliant on you, or your group. As though people are unable to ‘FIND OUT FOR THEMSELVES’  I call and other social media, including the bdsm community, the Lazy Search Engine. How often have you seen a post of ‘How Do I?’

HOW TO USE A SEARCH ENGINE should be the default intro for any peer support group online!

Offering peer support or running a group can be exhausting if the you, or only a few people are putting in the effort. It leaves you feeling unappreciated (always thank a host, give them feedback). If the fun stops.  Walk away – let someone else do it. In the bigger picture, people will ALWAYS have the same questions, and the ANSWERS WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME.

People have been getting into kink, and likewise developing CKD at any time and will continue to do so. DECADES of information is available on the internet.  Just for once, it would be nice to see more posts along the line of.

‘I’ve looked  up and researched X Y & Z and would like to know more! ‘

Do you run a peer support group, have you ever had to step back or pass over responsibilities?

Feature image women in a peer support group Creative Commons

Selling kinky stuff online – Why Fetlife Wins!

Theres some stuff I’m just not using any more.

Various metal cuff sets. A couple of nipple play sets, Story of O DVD’s and The Pet, and soon to go, some ‘Battle Trousers’ cosplay that I’ve barely worn and just don’t fit.

This is all stuff I might have used with ’new subs or photoshoots’.  As this seems unlikely to happen at the moment, clear the clutter! 

Selling on eBay has become a pain, apart from their endless emails and push to relist, my listing software is no longer supported and going through there website is a slow and frustrating process.
And FB market place is just too fussy, and public! 

UK Kinky Things for Sale on Fetlife is what it says on the tin.  Just a group for selling stuff.  No Damn Fees, no ‘This isn’t suitable for eBay messages.  You DO need a FetLife account, (if your a ‘Fetlife lifer’ like my good self, its not a problem

So, if your on Fet.  Don’t bin it. Sell it.

Intimate Sex for Plus sized lovers

Lets face it, these days most people are chubby, wether thats a good thing or not is another topic all together. You can maintain good health and be deliciously curvey. 

Intimate Sex for Plus sized Lovers – From Liberator

Wether or not you have adult furniture such as liberators. Most of the above can be achieved by rolling duvet’s or using pillows.

Its something I’d love to explore, when feeling frisky again.

Have you explored with ramps, or furniture in your own home?

Quick update

Hey all.
Well my few readers I’m yet again undecided on wether to keep this blog. Why the silence. Quite frankly I’ve not had time. Between health, an Xmas run up. Complete lack of anything sexy in my life at the moment, and generally busy with work (I IT for a local charity) and med stuff. Kink has been in my mind but on the back burner.
That said I have had a load of topics lined up that haven’t been written. So maybe next year.

But here’s a couple of suitable Xmas Song.  Don’t let the Bells End  Haha the cheeky Darkness

The Night Santa Went Crazy

50 shades of reality – Chris and Stacy?

If Christian Grey wasn’t posh and wealthy?

A strange thought came to mind a few days ago. On how BDSM has been portrayed in film and everyday life.

Incidentally I hold that for an author who isn’t in to kink, she must have seen or watched at least ’The Secretary or some other erotic books in her youth), but had been taken in by ’Twighlight’ Fantasy romance and fan fiction. And attending an all girls Grammar School, could have some influence 😉

Incidentally I think the similarities between ’The Secretary’ and 50 Shades are too uncanny. 

Take 50 shades.  Christian Grey the lead in the ‘current mommy porn televised books’ and Anastasia.

Now a simplified name of Christian in Chris and and a common variation on Anastasia is Stacy.

Would the books have read the same if Chris and Stacy got together? Or the films?

Hints at BDSM pop up in common TV series, everything from Midsomer Murders to the hilarious ‘Stella’  to teen comedy Misfits!

The Reality of a a BDSM Chris and Stacy story would probably involve a council flat or semi with a kinky garage or loft conversion dungeon! And maybe occasional membership of a swingers club (again not necessary BDSM) or a visits to a bespoke hotel, plus a decent trade with LoveHoney or Ann Summers!

The majority of the population may not experience BDSM, but may at some point in life ‘experiment’ However its such a broad area that people go from regular club attendance, to creating ‘home dungeons’ or focusing on a few particular fetishes.

I know very few people that are able to live a 24/7 commitment. Those that do have ‘good health, and some form of steady income.

The majority have regular jobs and maybe reasonable health with at least one partner. Although this may be a false description as plenty of people with health conditions and disabilities find BDSM a fantastic outlet or part of life.

Theres no doubt that money helps to ‘buy stuff and do things’.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Muzzle_gag2.jpg

With 5 books of the 50 shades series (and 3 films ) so far I’ve only read one, and possibly seen a couple of films! 

BDSM in the media.

According to Maria Claire

The following are the Top BDSM Movies of Merit.

While I don’t agree with all, if your into the BDSM mainstream movie genre they are worth a look. I certainly have a soft spot for Billy Piper in Secret Diary of a Call Girl, and 9 1/2 weeks and Basic Instinct are classics with merit!
Bonding, too was a very enjoyable comical but realistic series.

Personally I think B Movie BDSM films should be watched by all beginners, such as ‘The Pet’, under supervisions.
For all the tacky acting. This is a dark film of where ‘play’ can lead to abuse, and in the films end theme human trafficking, which sadly is still very very real in 2020!
2006 

“A young woman in dire financial straights accepts an offer to be a wealthy aristocrat’s human “pet” for six months. Then ruthless modern “pet-nappers” kidnap the woman to sell her on the GSM (Global Slave Market). ”

Themes of The Pet include 
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/ThePet

Its not to be confused with the later 2016 film ‘Pet’ (but sometimes also miscalled The Pet, just to confuse things which is much more of a physiological thriller exploring fanatical fetishism and abuse.

Keep Educated, Keep Safe.

Cover pick from PickPik licence free images
Its worth adding the Music Features a good deal in ‘making, rather than breaking’ the film.

Aaaaargh I got tagged – Happy Halloween

Thank You MrsW on this Darkest most Delivilish Day!

Well this is a merry pickle, read on down for the rest and a couple of enjoyable and useful links! Lets hope you find this horribly entertaining and educational!

Alright folks, let’s get started.

“In order to take part in this tag:

Thank the blogger who tagged you and link their post
Put the rules after an introduction, then answer the 13 questions
Tag 13 more bloggers to participate in the game”

OK I don’t actually KNOW 13 bloggers so consider yourself lucky! Or consider yourself Tagged if you care to dare. If you don’t give a monkeys, thats fine too!


Use these same Halloween questions, or create new ones of your own
Now time for the questions. FINALLY!

What’s your favorite thing about October or Halloween?

Firstly, Happy Samhein (pronounced Sowien). The traditions of All Hallows, or ‘All Saints’ goes back a long time in Ireland and the UK (I suggest you look up the Story of Stingy Jack). The full background behind Halloween seems to be lost. ‘Jack O Lanterns’ were originally carved from large Turnips, but Irish Settlers in the USA discovered pumpkins were much easier to carve! And that my dear American Friends is why you enjoy so many pumpkins.
Traditional Jack O Lantern

(Traditional Jack O Lantern)

I’m British so while ‘All Saint’s is a Christian festival with special church events, Hallloween isn’t celebrated in the commercial way as it is in the USA. We’re all pretty much living in a nightmare anyway.  Like most recognised religious festivals in the UK, and world, its adopted from from  various local existing practices, folklores and religions. Often in order to convert people to the practice of the day!

 

How much do you spend on Halloween? 
Nothing! When I was a kid we used to get sweets or maybe do a bit of decorating in the front garden. Costumes were pretty much adapted clothing or the odd charity (thrift) store job.

In the UK ‘Bonfire Night’ is celebrated in a few days time on the 5th of November where Brits celebrate the prevention of Religious/Political terrorist attack on our Parliament Buildings (Basically the Brit Equivalent of the Whitehouse, but older! ) Traditionally an effigy of the plotter ‘Guy Fawks’ is made and burned on the 5th, alongside fireworks, either in back gardens or at special events. Although most of these will be cancelled. Some venues are putting on laser light displays instead. ‘Remember Remember, the 5th of November, Gunpowder, Treason and Plot ‘ is a very old rhyme thats repeated even today. So quite often any celebrations are combined, I’ve already heard fireworks

But why not Check Out How Halloween is Celebrated Across the Globe?

 

A Modern Day Cornish ‘Jack O Lantern’
Source Wiki Click for More Info

What do you think the average person (Average American?) spends on Halloween goodies & does it match what you spend?

Probably too much especially if costumes are single use or plastic/polyester. Halloween for me was a bit of makeup /maskand some altered clothing! But are we talking in the US or Europe.

Does social media influence how much you decorate for Halloween, causing you to spend more?
Eh? May the demons of hell consume your darkened soul! Social media is one of the 9 hells, manifest on earth! 

Do you buy or create your Halloween costumes and what was your favorite costume so far?
See above.
Although if you want to see the very best costumes try watching the Halloween Specials of the UK show ’Strictly Come Dancing’ minimal this year their past costumes have been the most excellent. See other about my own Halloween shenanigans

Share a trick you have played on someone at Halloween

As kids we slightly changed our costumes and went round twice trick or treating to the same houses. Greedy little devils that we were! 

Do you have a favourite Halloween treat?

A full moon, and a candle! Or a nice nighttime walk in the forest. Sooo much possibility.
Oh and the Strictly Halloween Special is pretty spine tingling, tho toned down this year.
I’ve linked to 2019 above. You’ll love it! (The US version is called Dancing with the Stars)

What is something you can do with a pumpkin once Halloween is over?

https://www.hubbub.org.uk/pumpkin-rescue For the sake of our wildlife and planet, don’t waste your pumpkin. The Facts are out there! Unlike the shit thats going on in the US election, I mean why oh why!)

Do you consider pumpkin a fruit or a vegetable?It’s a fruit, botanically, but it’s sold in the veg section. Tomatoe Tomato!

What is the scariest food you’ve ever eaten?

Probably potato salad. Its suspected its what resulted me ending up in hospital with food poisoning some years ago.! 

Do you have a favourite Halloween drink?
No although a little tipple and a toast to lost souls is traditional. So far over 15 people I personally know have died. I have a list. It includes lovers, colleagues, and friends.
I might have a sip of Red Wine tonight or it might be Dark Rum

People usually spend money on Halloween, but have you ever made money related to this holiday? I’m getting bored now? Can we sacrifice someone?

What’s your favourite scary book or movie?

Film : I don’t really go for thrillers but ‘Captivity’ is probably one of the scariest movies I’ve seen. Its gruesome! And one of the few films I wouldn’t watch twice!

Book: I remember reading a book as a kid that involved an ‘automated’ Shopping Mall that didn’t allow a family to leave. Terrifying! 

I’ll leave you with some suitable Dark Music for the day.

Stay safe! The Demons are loose!
Adrian has created 2 of his own languages as well as producing many many tracks of music which are free for non commercial use (although obviously great talent is to be appreciated) I highly recommend checking out and buying his music.

Photos Royalty Free from Pexels.